Shifting boundaries of motherhood challenging the parental binaries in select lesbian motherhood memoirs

Abstract

Motherhood has traditionally been regarded as a biological certainty, confined both literally and symbolically within the private and emotional realm. However, over time, the conceptualization and practice of motherhood have undergone significant transformations, extending into various public domains. Historically, motherhood has held diverse meanings, just as it continues to vary across different cultural and subcultural contexts. Examining motherhood through the lens of different communities reveals how rigid norms and implicit assumptions are challenged by diverse material realities, particularly during periods of rapid social and technological transformation or cultural tensions. Queering motherhood involves recognizing lesbian mothering as a valid and multifaceted model rather than viewing it as deviant. Lesbian mothers frequently navigate the tension between conforming to normative standards to counter homophobic critiques and embracing the radical potential of queer theory. In societies where lesbian parenthood remains contentious, research indicating equal or even superior parenting outcomes among lesbian parents—relative to heteronormative family structures—serves to refute homophobic narratives that privilege traditional family forms as the ideal environment for child-rearing. Consequently, for these mothers, memoir writing emerges as a powerful medium, facilitating a dialogue between dominant and marginalized voices. This genre has evolved into a significant platform for amplifying maternal narratives that might otherwise remain unheard. This thesis critically examines narratives of lesbian motherhood, centering the experiences of mothers with non-normative sexual and gender identities. By foregrounding their voices, it challenges the dominant cisnormative and heteronormative paradigms that shape conventional motherhood discourse.The thesis is divided into VII chapters. Chapter I introduces key concepts related to gender identity, motherhood, and lesbian motherhood, tracing the evolution of motherhood and narrowing its focus to lesbian maternal experiences. It also presents the selected authors and works under study, outlines the theoretical framework, and delineates the scope of the research. Chapter II explores Cherríe Moraga’s memoir Waiting in the Wings: Portrait of a Queer Motherhood (1997), which chronicles her journey from pregnancy anticipation to the challenges of raising herprematurely born son, Rafael. This chapter employs the theoretical perspectives of Shelley M. Park, Margaret F. Gibson, Nancy J. Mezey, and Amy Hequembourg to examine queer motherhood. Additionally, it engages with S. Juhasz’s framework on maternal memoir writing and identity formation and discusses the theme of queer autoethnography in the context of Chicana lesbian motherhood, particularly the role of writing as a therapeutic practice (scriptotherapy). Chapter III analyzes Nancy Abrams’ The Other Mother: A Lesbian’s Fight for Her Daughter (1999), which recounts her legal battle to regain custody of her daughter Amelia following her separation from her lesbian partner, Norma. This chapter critiques the concept of monomaternalism—the notion that each child can have only one legitimate mother—by situating it within patriarchal, heteronormative, and capitalist frameworks. The analysis is grounded in the theoretical insights of Adrienne Rich, Amy Hequembourg, and Andrea O’Reilly, exploring resistance within adoptive, blended, lesbian, and queer family structures. Chapter IV examines Amie Klempnauer Miller’s She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood (2010), which interrogates the construction of motherhood through a theoretical lens that includes polymaternalism (the acknowledgment of multiple mothers per child). By integrating the perspectives of Adrienne Rich on matricentric feminism, Lynn O’Brien on patriarchal motherhood ideologies, and other scholars such as Margaret F. Gibson, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, and Carol Smart, this chapter challenges rigid binaries in motherhood discourse and underscores the complexities of contemporary queer mothering experiences. Chapter V explores Karleen Pendleton Jiménez’s memoir How to Get a Girl Pregnant (2011), which recounts her journey as a butch lesbian undergoing artificial insemination to conceive a child. This chapter examines how Jiménez transcends a purely medicalized narrative of pregnancy, intertwining personal identity with broader societal contexts. Drawing upon the theoretical contributions of Brenda O. Daly, Maureen T. Reddy, and Marianne Hirsch—who critique feminist neglect of the maternal due to its entrenchment in patriarchal structures—the chapter highlights the interconnectedness of individual experiences with larger social frameworks. Chapter VI synthesizes the findings by comparing the selected memoirs in terms of the challenges, choices, and opportunities afforded to lesbian mothers throughout theirmotherhood journeys. The mothers in these narratives are categorized based on their maternal identities, whether biological or non-biological. Chapter VII outlines the study’s limitations and provides recommendations for future research in this area. Additionally, narrative strategies across all the analyzed works are systematically examined and presented at the conclusion of the core chapters.